How To Beat Alcoholism: A Survivors Story
I started drinking regularly when I was sixteen years old, I enjoyed the confidence booze gave me as I had always been a reserved and retiring type. I found alcohol enabling at first and I enjoyed having scores of drinking companions. All of a sudden I had many sexual companions, I was never without a girlfriend, but every relationship I had failed because of my alcoholic habits and lack of respect for my partners.
I used to get in some horrible states, missed a lot of work, drove whilst inebriated, made a fool of myself in company, my sexual promiscuity introduced me to sexually transmitted diseases like Clymidia and genital warts. In the early days of problem drinking though you tend to be forgiven for being inebriated, you may lose a few friends due to your behaviour, but often people are very forgiving.
When I reached my "twenties" I had the misfortune of becoming incontinent if I drank more than five large glasses of lager in an evening. Alcohol had begun to do some damage to my body, but I couldnt stop, regardless of how hard I tried. It wasnt too much of a problem at the time as I just made sure not to go over the five pint limit and discovered I could still drink more as long as I started drinking spirits after reaching my self-imposed limit without fear of losing control of my bladder. But, sometimes Id still go too far and would awaken the next day finding Id wet myself. When youre drinking too much your body will give you warnings, attempting to give you a rude awakening, but when alcoholism kicks in one tends to ignore the signs and continue to drink anyway. I also attempted kill myself a few times whilst drinking and have several scars on my arms where I tried to cut my wrists. I tried to hide the scars on my arms, because my behavior embarrassed me, but I still continued to feed my habit.
Relationships still were a problem, I could never be faithful when I drank, I just didnt give a damn what I did and I started to realize that alcohol didnt make me confident anymore, I was becoming more insecure. I met some people along the way who were not impressed by my alcoholism, but I thought it was they who had the problem rather than myself. I mean, I never got physically aggressive, I might do some idiotic things, but I didnt think my behavior to be too "out of order". My parents and my employers were concerned my drinking, but I was stopping for no-one.
As time passed by I became a father and my alcoholism became controlled for a while. It was more important to ensure that my children were adequately provided for, than to feed my habit. Id still drink but reduced my drinking to a large bottle of cider once a week and a binge once a month. I made my own alcohol during that time finding I could make alcohol for a pittance so my alcohol consumption increased again. I also went to university as a mature student and took a degree in computing, at University my drinking increased again, due to cheap alcohol prices and new drinking friends. I graduated with a 2:2 in computing and then started working in the IT industry. In the late "ninetees" I.T was paying some really "silly" money, for a while I was taking home $1200 a week. Affording alcohol was never a problem atthat time.
My problem drinking was affecting my work however and once again my relationship, I was put on Prozac (antidepressant) which when combined with alcohol, completely intoxicated me, I really was not of this world at that time and I lost my job, my relationship ended bitterly and my children were badly affected by the split. Living on my own, my alcoholism started to get really bad, Id start the day with several cans of really strong booze and Id continue to drink throughout the day. Each day I drove my car whilst inebriated, risking not only my own life, but the lives of other people too.
I started my own IT company and started to make a good money, I dread to imagineIoften wonder what my clients must have thought of me because I was always under the influence of alcohol. The company started to grow and the in a short time had four employees. Getting alcohol was never an issue, I could buy as much as I desired with company cheques, but I was very unhappy and after getting a new girlfriend, quit the company and moved to Wales.
The language barrier made it hard to set up business in the area and without work, I had to revert to drinking a 2 liter bottle of very strong alcohol a day. The relationship was co-dependent and I was happy to have a partner who enabled my drinking. I continually drove whilst inebriated, the relationship was pretty rocky but solid, until insecurity really started to affect me. I started to believe my girlfriend was cheating on me and really started to lose my mind. I made a decision in 2006 that I was going to quit drinking after taking an overdose. I tried Alcoholics Anonymous, but it didnt work for me so I did a lot of research and found a way to quit on my own without support.Three years later Im happily married,never relapsed, I have several successful online businesses and I know that I will never drink again. People in my house drink around me and it doesnt bother me, apart from when theyre really drunk, I know now that inebriated people are not good company. I cant say that its been an easy ride since I quit as Ive had to deal with my insecurities without my alcoholic friend, but Im happy these days and the future does look great.
Its incredible, once I couldnt imagine not drinking, now I couldnt imagine a life with it!
If you want to quit drinking you can download my ebook describing the tools Ive used to successfully quit drinking for good. If you value yourself, relationships and employment I recommend that you do so today. It will without question be the best decision you ever make.
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